is marriage an institution created for men, by men, of men for their own satifaction? in this age of power to women, is it obsolete? food for thought and fun to all.

13 thoughts on “marriage?

  1. It’s not that easy to brand it so. There are cases where there is indeed more power to women and there are places where wife is just another duty defined for women, with no space to grow, think or evolve.

  2. @ponc
    quite agree. i know im giving a unidirection to this complicated picture… but thats someones statements, so wanted to know what others feel about it.

    also, when you say there are cases where there is more power to women, can you give some examples? that would really be helpful 🙂

  3. Poorna …while I am in agreement with you …
    there are more I can add here

    Marriages are to be studied totally case by case ..

    No assumptions ..No jumping to conclusions…

    Fact 1):

    Men get married when they want ( keeping in mind current situation )
    women on the other hand are made understand of the
    benefits of getting married ..

    Fact 2):

    Men can get rid of cyprian bills …
    there could be decrease in booze bills

    Fact 3)
    married employed men are richer if they have a workin spouse

    These are only few things

    addendum is on…

    Lemme know what u think

  4. Regarding the question of how power is yielded by women I beleive power in terms
    men means getting his way from beggining to the end of an issue. But power according
    to me is the ability to influence. Keeping aside the issue of right or wrong how
    many times have u heard of cases of husbands moving out their parents homes with
    whom they have loved and lived with after getting married because the spouse has a
    problem. How many times have you seen married men buying the clothes they like rather
    than what their spouse selects.(its a different issue that men suck at shopping but
    personally women are notorious for their indeciciveness hehe.)
    Coming to the institution of marriage I think it was primarily a safegaurd the weaker sex
    (I mean only physically kya from feminists hope none of them are arnd) and every religion arnd the
    world forbidding lust for women who are already married.

    Secondly every living being in the world is possesive abt various things arnd which its
    life is woven.It was just a unsigned accord among all the creatures to protect this
    nature that the institution of marriage has cropped up.
    Polygamy was a result of mismatch of the sex ratios ( wud not have been a prblem presently
    as we have adjusted to this phenomena by exploring the pleasures among the same sex)
    and the first mentioned reason of protection of women.

    And hence i rest the case by saying that though the institution 9of marriage might
    have been a brainchild of man but its origination is from benovolent reasons rather
    than just gratification of his needs

  5. I feel (from what I have read and observed) that marriage was instituted for the following reasons:

    1) When we moved from an hunter-gatherer to an agricultural lifestyle, the focus of the family shifted from father to mother. And the father would not want to spend his resources raising the children from another man. Also, issues of inheriting the land would come up. So, monogamy and marriage came into the picture.

    2) A lot of religions regarded the union of male and female as the ultimate religious experience, and of course monotheistic religions wanted a monopoly on the path to god. So they brought up all the rules to restrict the union only between married couples, attached all sorts of guilt to it, etc.

    3) Gradually under influence of monotheistic religions (which grew to almost all parts of the world), the position of women reduced from “a path to salvation” to chattel and property. Women were bartered away at higher levels in society for political gain, and in lower levels for more immediate needs, specially money. Leading to the dependence of women on their husbands for their food and shelter.

    So yes, to an extent, I agree with KoPoS’s original post that marriage is slowly becoming obsolete. (will take a lot of time, of course)

  6. @pramod
    Your facts are undeniable ra; no doubts about that. When we take fact 1 of yours, we are making assumptions that
    1.a Its very advantageous for the women to be married. Ergo, staying unmarried for women is unadvantageous (harmful?)
    1.b Why do men have this luxury to choose? Why not for women too?

    2. cyprian? whazzat? please enlighten moi.

    3. totally not true. all the additional costs that come with sharing a bigger house, groceries, gas, etc; dont prolly make it a worthy fact…

  7. @djk
    Agreed men had to move out coz women in their life cant reach a common ground; but then the wives always have to move out anyways, aint it?

    Hmmm… a safe refuge for women, marriage? Are you sure, coz if that were the case, the attitude wouldnt be so i guess. I think when you say men dont lust around married women; i think its because of the higher premium placed on virginity rather than that out of respect for married women.

    Hmmmm… I dont necessarily say that it was a institution that was devised by men, it need necessarily be malevolent by intentions. But because of not so noble intentions behind it, it has come to this stature… My point is what if the marriage as a institution is obsolete or does it make truest sense. I mean, what are the other major reasons for the marriage as an institution still existing?

  8. @Tanu
    Have to say im quite in agreement with Tanushree’s points. Even though ideally, marriage is having a morally/ethically binding agreement sanctioned by society.

    I can see quite some advantages of it. Staying monogamous limits to some extent the spread of the STDs. Each partner is essentially dependant on one another totally with a high level of trust; loneliness is a true big killer, believe me.

    My utopian world would be a monogamous world with women and men complementing each other where each make a complete whole and make a bigger whole when they are together instead of being just two halves combining to make a whole.

  9. A slight ammendment to the utopian world:
    My utopian world would be a monogamous world with “people of either gender” complementing each other where each make a complete whole and make a bigger whole when they are together instead of being just two halves combining to make a whole.

  10. @tanu
    would definitely go with your view actually. but since the topic was started as a PoV of a woman on marriage, hence the monogamous world with men and women. But yeah, the utopian world will not have only men-women couples only it should have the either sex couples too.

    i stand corrected.

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